In 1998 I started my Human Resources career at #ibm on the diversity team at the headquarters office in Westchester, NY. IBM was a wonder back in those days: we had over 300,000 employees, a massive customer base and the HR team was fairly cutting edge. I was privileged to be part of a multitude of initiatives aimed at creating a work environment where we strived to help all employees feel accepted and valued. I had the opportunity to work on things like celebration and acknowledgment of different heritage months, what diversity means in different countries, and leadership development with an inclusion lens.
Sometime around the year 2000, IBM held its first ever #lgbtq+ Leadership conference. I helped put the conference together and attended. There was a very funny moment when I was “outed” as a straight person and there was a literal gasp among the group I was working with. I was the “other” in this group; it was an important wake-up call for me and a reminder of how important it is to put ourselves in others' shoes.
But the memory that is seared in my brain was when one day at lunch I was sitting with a few new friends. One of them was privy to some of the behind-the-scenes administration of the conference and he told us that the manager of the Center where the conference was being held, had told his employees they “did not have to work this conference if they had a problem with gay people.”
I was a bit stunned. In retrospect, I guess I shouldn’t have been, but at the moment, all I could think was: Why? If the manager had traded out any other group for the LGBT group, would it have been ok? For instance, could someone have chosen not to work for the Black Leadership Conference? The Women’s Leadership Conference? Why just this conference?
It is soooo easy to dislike / distrust/ assume the worst about people that we don’t regularly come into contact with. I think this is one of the fundamental issues in our country right now. There is a tremendous amount of hatred, legislative bias and vitriol aimed at the gay community. So much of this is based on misinformation, distance and lack of understanding.
In January, my friends Jessica and Susan took me to a drag brunch show to celebrate my birthday. There were people from all walks of life: straight folks, gay folks, parents and grandparents, kids and teens, and all races represented. It was absolutely joyous. Ava Lashay, our hostess kept things fun, and funny and the performances were INCREDIBLE.
This is one of the amazing things about performance art such as drag; it is an individual experience, held communally. Each of us is the sum of the other parts of our lives, our beliefs, our hopes and dreams. The show is not the same for anyone, yet we are all together.
Frankly, we need more of this, not less.
It seems clear that much of this hostility and intolerance for the LGBTQIA+ community is due to a lack of connection between people - a failure to truly understand and appreciate one another. I think back with pride (pun intended) to all the work we did at IBM back in the day and can only hope some of what current diversity leaders are focused on can help pave the way for deeper understanding between people.
#HappyPride, everyone. The pictures attached are from one amazing day when I got into a bit of drag and was lucky enough to ride along with the Sisters of the Perpetual Indulgence, an amazing community organization based in San Francisco, and the birthday drag brunch.
