The Kenny Rogers of my youth, pre the strange facial surgery that happened later in his life, crooned about knowing “when to walk away and knowing when to run.”
This is exceptionally good advice in work and life. And yet, we are somewhat conditioned to try to “stick it out”. It usually doesn’t work out well.
In one of my previous jobs, the senior leader I was reporting to basically told me he didn’t believe in my work anymore. Seems like a pretty sure sign it’s time to at least walk away, right? But, nope – I worked hard to try to please him, twisting myself into a version of me that wasn’t at all familiar. I was no longer bringing my individual best; I was trying to figure out what he wanted instead of utilizing my own gifts.
The result: I was playing someone else’s game, not being my authentic self, and, frankly, not performing very well.
Why?
Because eventually there was nothing of the actual me in my work, and that, is fatal. We all have things we are uniquely brilliant at – the key is to find yourself in a place where you get to let that brilliance shine. In my case, instead of walking away on my own terms when I knew it wasn’t right, I was asked to leave.
Probably not the Gambler’s choice.
Later in the song, Kenny sings: “if you’re gonna play the game, you better learn to play it right.”
If life is a game, I strongly believe “playing it right” means playing on your own terms. Any time you sacrifice who you are for the sake of a paycheck, a title, or some perceived prestige that comes with said money and position, you are not playing your own game.
The same is true in your personal life. I found myself in a marriage that I knew wasn’t right, with a person I could not trust, and in an environment where I could not flourish. As I dug in trying to morph into something else, my own light started to dim and that sassy spark of who I am at my core was no longer there.
If I was heeding the advice in the song, that would have been a good time to run.
Luckily, I eventually found “an ace that I could keep”...my true self... and am so much happier for it.
Our guest on the Podcast this week, Marti Grimminck, shares her wisdom with us on this exact topic. When we asked her what advice she would give to her younger self, she channeled Mr. Rogers and said “know when to walk away.”
Marti is a citizen of the world, has traveled extensively, and launched her business based on her particular brilliance, as an International Connector. When Sherry and I asked her to expand on her advice, Marti said “connect to who you truly are”.
I think Kenny Rogers would be proud. Please listen in here, or wherever you listen to podcasts.
