“Don’t just do something, sit there"
Yep, you read that right. Our society has such a tremendous focus on doing, taking action, and accomplishing, we are all used to reading that phrase the other way around. It has caused an epidemic of high stress, burnout, and lack of connection. Our constant busyness puts distance between what we present to the world, and who we really are.
How does this happen? Take overworking as an example. Several studies have shown that managers cannot accurately differentiate work output between those working 80 hours and those who pretended to (Carmichael, HBR), and yet people who put in those kinds of hours, have much higher stress levels, which can lead to a whole range of health problems. You are also much more likely to make mistakes and become vulnerable to distractions (Friedman, HBR).
When you move into that constant doing state, your body becomes flooded with cortisol, and your critical thinking skills can become impaired. Speed replaces intentionality and, getting “stuff” done with doing things well. Eventually, you can become disconnected from who you really are at your core.
I speak from personal experience.
There was a point in my career where I had so completely twisted myself into a pretzel of someone else's design, that I lost who I was. While I would get up every morning at 5am for a spin class, I was at my heaviest weight, and while I had access to the best mental health care, I felt I was too busy to actually use it. Previous to that time, no one, and I mean no one, would ever have described me as withdrawn and shy with my opinions. I have always been tough, direct, and caring in equal proportions. But something happened when I was in hyper-drive stress mode and I literally became a shadow of myself, reticent to speak up and, frankly, super inefficient for the amount of effort I was putting in.
I needed a significant change.
I was lucky; I had the time and resources to leave that job and to really consider what I wanted from my life. So, I took some time, pushed pause on the doing, and sat down to contemplate my life.
It was from this pause I was able to make some meaningful changes and create more of what I wanted in my life.
When was the last time you simply "sat there"?
Photo by the amazing Melodee Solomon
