Pain is a fact of life.
While conventional wisdom holds this kind of sucks, the first noble truth of Buddhism is that suffering is an inherent part of our existence. The philosophy of duality suggests that we wouldn’t understand what pleasure was if we didn’t know pain. The sweet wouldn’t be as meaningful without the sour; could we know joy if we didn’t understand sorrow?
But, we get daily messages on ways to escape the reality of pain in our lives:
Take the path of least resistance
Don’t rock the boat·
If you can’t beat them, join them· T
Take the easy way out
But, here’s the hard truth: there is no easy way out… The only way out is through. Avoidance of any kind of pain whether it’s big physical issues, or small cruelties only creates more suffering.
Just this week, I had multiple conversations with executives I coach around how to have a difficult conversation with someone. These were not life-changing // world altering situations. They were every day kind of run-of-the-mill annoyances at work. But everyone was avoiding having the real conversation. In each situation my suggestion was the same…
Address it head on.
Do it in a way that you can be heard, and you don’t injure the other person, but let them know the impact they had on you.
Will they take this advice? I’m not sure. We humans are hardwired to believe it’s easier to ignore difficulties, shake off the pain, or avoid the uncomfortable moment. But in reality, all that difficulty, pain, and discomfort just festers, growing more toxic over time.
It is only by facing it that it can ever be released.
Julian Pistone learned this the hard way. He had spent much of his life having a really great time, living in different countries, getting deep into the music scene, and working for one of the world's most recognizable brands. When he was felled by two serious illnesses and the death of his father, he lay suffering on the floor of his childhood bedroom fighting against the pain. His suffering continued until he was able to muster the courage to be with his pain instead of pushing so hard against it.
Julian’s story is incredibly poignant and he shared it with Sherry and me on the podcast this week. You can check it out here or wherever you listen to podcasts. https://lnkd.in/gGFK_HYC
What about you? What is your experience with suffering, acceptance, and peace?
