Carving a Way Forward

For anyone living under a rock: this past Sunday was the #oscars.

Yes, I got sucked in by the pretty outfits and the potential of something “unexpected” happening again…I wanted to see if some of my personal faves would win and maybe discover some new films that I hadn’t previous heard of…

and then I was blown away by one woman with an incredibly powerful message.

When Sarah Polley took the stage for winning best adapted screenplay for Women Talking she said in regards to author Miriam Towes

“(she) wrote about a radical act of democracy in which people who don’t agree on every single issue managed to sit in a room and carve a way forward, free of violence. Not just by talking, but also by listening.”

It literally stopped me in my tracks. Whether on the political landscape, in corporate offices, or the family dinner table, often we have stopped listening.

One brief, ill-advised glance down my #twitter feed and I am shocked at the vitriol, the hatred and the complete lack of any willingness to listen to an opinion different from one’s own. I cannot stomach “news” formats that pit one side against the other, or senior leaders in companies who speak as if they know all in regards to a particular issue.

For instance, recently I was at a party and a woman I know was relating a story to me in which her CEO told her she would lose any respect she had with their board because she had been photographed with a Democratic party leader.

Our complete inability to hear each other, speak rationally and “carve a way forward, free of violence,” has resulted in a major news organization saying one thing publicly to increase viewership, while privately holding completely opposite views; in board rooms where people are afraid to speak from fear of disrupting the status quo, and family members who no longer speak to each other.

We have become so wed to our own opinions, and are constantly spoon-fed social media and fake news stories, that we have come to believe our own particular brand of bullshit.

This is dangerous and untenable, and why I was so inspired by Sarah Polley’s message. Sarah's speech reminded me of the guest we host this week, Joe Walsh.

Joe is a former republican congressman, and a onetime right-wing radio host.  When Sherry mentioned inviting him on our podcast, my initial reaction was NO %#@*& WAY. This was the guy who had attacked causes and politicians I believed in, and supported at least one politician I abhorred.

But Sherry asked me to take my own medicine and to listen. Joe has a podcast called White Flag which I downloaded and was absolutely inspired by his willingness to engage in constructive dialogue with guests he probably wouldn’t have even spoken to during his talk radio days. He encourages people to stop buying into the blind beliefs peddled by a 2-party system, to get curious and LISTEN. As he readily admits on our own podcast, the three of us likely make different choices in the voting booth, but Joe has moved away from the hate mongering of so may news outlets and into a place of openness, with the hope of a productive way forward.

Please listen in to this important discussion around transformation and what is possible when we stop leading with blind beliefs, start talking to each other, and listening more. https://open.spotify.com/show/5WoJONofU8IV4759ypIuuk

What is your experience with listening and being heard at work? At home? On social media?