It’s thanksgiving week in the US, and that is usually a time when we see lots of posts about all the good things in life.
This is a beautiful tradition, and I too, am grateful for somuch in my world.
However, to misquote Leonard Cohen, it’s the cracks that let the light in.
What does this mean?
No one gets a free pass. No one gets to skip through life without some pain, heartache andloss.
But, here’s the deal: our difficulties have the potential to teach us way more than our triumphs.
For me, my biggest growth came in my personal life form my divorce and in my work life when I lost a job. These were incredibly painful experiences that I wouldn’t wish on anyone, and man, does it suck when you’re in the thick of it. My self-esteem was shot, and my sense of purpose and understanding of how I fit into the world was completelysideways.
It is the picking yourself up after something awful happensthat gives you the opportunity for regeneration, new perspective and re-grounding into your next.
Cohen’s wisdom also reminds us the we really don’t know what the light is without the dark…we wouldn’t know joy without some amount of pain and metaphorically, the sweet without the salty.
After my divorce, I gained so much clarity about what is important to me; it freed me up to consider my life from a much wider perspective than how I had been living, and I did a tremendous amount of work to feel healthy again. Same with the job loss: it created an opportunity for me to think about what I REALLY love(learning, coaching, leadership development) and how to construct my work world away from those things I don’t love (most of the administrative aspects of HR).
The trick to all of this is to not believe the story you are being told when you’re in those low moments. Our guest this week, Michelle Simmons, calls this the spell you fall under. For instance, during that period in my work world, I had been told Iwasn’t tough enough to work with senior leaders. Had I believed this feedback completely; had I let it define me, it might have changed the trajectory of what I did next.
Instead, I looked for the truth, and the lie in what I was told, realized I had some opportunities to show up differently, and I grew instead of shrank.
Sometimes we unconsciously internalize what others say. This is why Michelle believes it is so important to recognize what stories we are telling ourselves. Michelle is a too-many-to-count IronMan athlete and coach. She joins Sherry and me on the podcast this week. You can check it out here, or wherever you listen to podcasts.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. Consider your gratitude for all that is amazing in your life AND the tough stuff…all of it is the tapestry of the marvel that you are.
